Clean To The 99’s
It’s Spring. Flowers bloom. House get beautifully clean. Wallets stay fat and happy.
Stocking up on Formula 409, Clorox, Lysol and all your favorites is almost too easy with The 99’s deals so you may be tempted to make the house too clean. The kids will want to play air hockey on the impossibly shiny floors. And you’ll see your reflection in every single surface. This can lead to something we call Spring High Self-Esteem where you’re constantly thinking “Well, hello, gorgeous” when you see your reflection in the countertops, the windows, you never noticed it before on the floor, and even in the faucet spigot which makes you look more like a Picasso, but you still look good.
Spring has Sprung. ‘Tis the season to clean up while cleaning up on deals.
Spring Cleaning goes so much easier with all the best cleaning supplies. It’s true, you are worth it, but here it also costs less to get the best stuff than it did to get that generic stuff you got somewhere else last year that was on sale but it didn’t work and now it sits under the sink and doesn’t lift a finger to help. Here, you can afford all the brand names that work, and spring for those rubber gloves and sponges that make it go easier. Stock up on mops, buckets, Swiffers - we’ve got everything but the elbow grease.
We’d supply that if we could. But when you’ve got the right equipment, it makes it all so much easier so we have deals on the best cleaning supplies. It’s true, you are worth it, but here it also costs less to get the best stuff than it did to get that generic stuff you got somewhere else last year that was on sale but it didn’t work and now it sits under the sink and doesn’t lift a finger to help. Here, you can afford all the brand names that work, and spring for those rubber gloves and sponges that make it go easier. You might suddenly find you like cleaning. We won’t tell.
99 Green Thumbs
Gnomes are a 99 specialty and we’re not fooling around.
Spring is the time to add to the gnome population in your yard and it might get crowded between the skeleton gnomes, gnomes riding snails and gnomes who sit on mushrooms. To protect your garden, there’s a security guard gnome. Maybe a fishing gnome or a biker gnome is a better fit for your garden. Or a biker skull gnome. Or a princess gnome. Or a princess skeleton gnome. Maybe just come in and mingle to see who you like. The 99 has more gnomes than you probably knew existed. Just try to think of one that The 99 doesn’t have. We’ll wait.
Out-Daffodil the Joneses without spending nearly as much.
Matching the neighbors, Tulip for Tulip, is more fun for pennies on the dollar.
The 99’s fantastic deals are back like crabgrass, making it easy to create a garden that will attract butterflies, if not fairies. Add some decorative sunflower fences or white picket fences. There’s metallic butterfly and flower ornaments that reflect to give themselves rainbows, and there’s all you need from tools to bird feeders. You can’t help but have a garden that stands out on the cul-de-sac. Again.
Snack Deals Gone Wild!
You have the munchies. We have the fix.
Find ridiculous deals on Pringles, Reese’s, Doritos, Goldfish crackers, Kit Kat, Snickers and Sweet Tarts. These kinds of deals might make you try chugging pretzels instead of beer. And we don’t know if doing body shots but with Cheese Nips is a thing, but with our absurdly good deals maybe it will be. Get everything you can put in a bowl, and don’t forget to pick up bigger bowls to hold it all.
Hit the road with a full tank of snacks.
The 99 is your snack fill-up station for any road trip. If you’re doing 6 hours in a car full of college friends, get family-sized and get “the good stuff.” By the way, everyone means something different by “the good stuff” so get lots of every kind and it’ll be a fun ride. For others, your road trip may be the 45-minute commute home, but you need just as much snack support.