Kiss me, I’m a 99er.
Make a Leprechaun Habitat
Leprechauns are notoriously stingy about giving up their pot of gold but you shouldn’t have to give up yours either just to decorate for St. Paddy’s Day. First, you need to attract the little guys to your home, so The 99 has deals any Leprechaun would love.
Stick shamrocks in the yard and hang glittery gold and green strings of clover everywhere. They’ll be attracted to the luck. Inside, there’s stickers and refrigerator magnets with pots of gold and a lucky St. Patrick’s Day tablecloth for dinner.
Add green clover placemats and you’ve got a home worthy of a leprechaun. Leprechauns love a good party and regardless of how many tiny green men show up, your friends also love a good party. You can’t lose. Don’t forget the 4-leaf clover shaped coasters and plenty of everyone’s favorite brands of beer.
The 99’s deals make you feel like you lead a charmed life. You might as well be a Leprechaun too.
You’ll find everything you need here. Grab a glittery green bow tie, shamrock glasses, a green felt hat and keep a handful of our lucky gold coins in your pocket. Finish it off with plenty of glittery green around your neck. For added luck, give your dog a green hat and orange braids. Being The 99, you’ll get lucky on all the deals. We’re not sure what comes first, looking like a leprechaun or the luck, but it works somehow. Stop in. Just take a right at the end of the rainbow.
Every species of chocolate bunny and all their candy eggs.
The 99 sent our explorers out to find every kind of chocolate bunny in the world and they came back with tons of new species. We found a chocolate bunny with ears long enough to maybe pull in TV channels. We’ve fielded a team of extra-tall, basketball playing bunnies, and some bunnies wearing bow ties have spilled out of the shelves and are sitting on the cashiers’ heads. The chocolate egg laying is also getting out of hand. Maybe lots of bunnies can lay Reese’s and M&M eggs, but ours are laying Avengers, Paw Patrol, Spiderman Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Disney Princess eggs. Please, come adopt a chocolate bunny today.
Our brand name candy also multiplies like, well, bunnies.
For parent Easter Bunnies who need to fill eggs, baskets, or maybe a kiddie pool, we have all kinds of brand name candy at The 99’s amazing deals. Buy Ghirardelli like it’s Reese’s. Buy Reese’s like it’s M&Ms. Buy M&Ms like it’s 1974 and you can only use coins found in the sofa cushions.
The great Peep migration has begun.
Get ready, marshmallow Bird Watchers. Surely you’ve seen them. This time of year the streets are filled with flocks of migrating Peeps in all their natural colors - white, purple, yellow, pink and the rare green ones. They walk rather than fly and many are caught by children along the migration route. None of them really know what direction to go in but somehow they follow each other to their Easter nesting area at The 99. Get out your binoculars and come in to see.
Some families do an Egg Hunt. Yours does an Epic Egg Quest.
Looking at our range of fillable eggs, you realize this year won’t be an egg hunt. This year you will earn the title of Legendary Egg Adventurer. It’s a right of passage when you graduate to finding a dinosaur egg from the Jurassic Period in the garden, or a one-eyed monster egg with tufts of neon hair living in the couch cushions, or an emoji egg blowing kisses to the garden gnome on the lawn. And anyone into sports will reach egg hunting championship level with baseball, football, basketball and soccer shaped eggs. Before it’s over, you’ll probably be knighted and definitely get chocolate.
We’ve even got camouflage eggs, if you can find them.
You may have a hard time seeing them on the shelves, but trust us, they’re here. You could try looking for a shelf where there don’t appear to be any eggs - it could be loaded with camouflage eggs. If you see someone squinting up close with their nose on the shelf, they might be onto something. Once people do find them, it’s a great way to take your egg hunt to the next level so they’ll probably sell out quickly, but we won’t really know if they do.
DIYing and dyeing your eggs.
For some artists, their canvas is eggs. The 99 has everything for your egg dyeing artistry along with egg decorating sticker kits. Some eggs are destined to save the Universe with the Star Wars sticker kit, others LOL all day with emojis and there are confetti-filled eggs that come in real cardboard egg cartons. It’s everything you need to be like Michelangelo, but for eggs.
Clean To The 99’s
It’s Spring. Flowers bloom. House get beautifully clean. Wallets stay fat and happy.
Stocking up on Formula 409, Clorox, Lysol and all your favorites is almost too easy with The 99’s deals so you may be tempted to make the house too clean. The kids will want to play air hockey on the impossibly shiny floors. And you’ll see your reflection in every single surface. This can lead to something we call Spring High Self-Esteem where you’re constantly thinking “Well, hello, gorgeous” when you see your reflection in the countertops, the windows, you never noticed it before on the floor, and even in the faucet spigot which makes you look more like a Picasso, but you still look good.
Spring has Sprung. ‘Tis the season to clean up while cleaning up on deals.
Spring Cleaning goes so much easier with all the best cleaning supplies. It’s true, you are worth it, but here it also costs less to get the best stuff than it did to get that generic stuff you got somewhere else last year that was on sale but it didn’t work and now it sits under the sink and doesn’t lift a finger to help. Here, you can afford all the brand names that work, and spring for those rubber gloves and sponges that make it go easier. Stock up on mops, buckets, Swiffers - we’ve got everything but the elbow grease.
We’d supply that if we could. But when you’ve got the right equipment, it makes it all so much easier so we have deals on the best cleaning supplies. It’s true, you are worth it, but here it also costs less to get the best stuff than it did to get that generic stuff you got somewhere else last year that was on sale but it didn’t work and now it sits under the sink and doesn’t lift a finger to help. Here, you can afford all the brand names that work, and spring for those rubber gloves and sponges that make it go easier. You might suddenly find you like cleaning. We won’t tell.
99 Green Thumbs
Gnomes are a 99 specialty and we’re not fooling around.
Spring is the time to add to the gnome population in your yard and it might get crowded between the skeleton gnomes, gnomes riding snails and gnomes who sit on mushrooms. To protect your garden, there’s a security guard gnome. Maybe a fishing gnome or a biker gnome is a better fit for your garden. Or a biker skull gnome. Or a princess gnome. Or a princess skeleton gnome. Maybe just come in and mingle to see who you like. The 99 has more gnomes than you probably knew existed. Just try to think of one that The 99 doesn’t have. We’ll wait.
Out-Daffodil the Joneses without spending nearly as much.
Matching the neighbors, Tulip for Tulip, is more fun for pennies on the dollar.
The 99’s fantastic deals are back like crabgrass, making it easy to create a garden that will attract butterflies, if not fairies. Add some decorative sunflower fences or white picket fences. There’s metallic butterfly and flower ornaments that reflect to give themselves rainbows, and there’s all you need from tools to bird feeders. You can’t help but have a garden that stands out on the cul-de-sac. Again.
Snack Deals Gone Wild!
You have the munchies. We have the fix.
Find ridiculous deals on Pringles, Reese’s, Doritos, Goldfish crackers, Kit Kat, Snickers and Sweet Tarts. These kinds of deals might make you try chugging pretzels instead of beer. And we don’t know if doing body shots but with Cheese Nips is a thing, but with our absurdly good deals maybe it will be. Get everything you can put in a bowl, and don’t forget to pick up bigger bowls to hold it all.
Hit the road with a full tank of snacks.
The 99 is your snack fill-up station for any road trip. If you’re doing 6 hours in a car full of college friends, get family-sized and get “the good stuff.” By the way, everyone means something different by “the good stuff” so get lots of every kind and it’ll be a fun ride. For others, your road trip may be the 45-minute commute home, but you need just as much snack support.